Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it - one odd and one end?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but cannot make one amend?
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane!
By an unknown author/compiler.
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