- If you have reached the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.
- When you are computing, if someone is watching, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
- When the going gets tough, upgrade your computer.
- The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you'd least expect to find it.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
- To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
- He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
- The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
- A complex system that doesn't work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
- A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. They stopped and examined the tracks closely.
The first lawyer announced, "Those are deer tracks. It's deer season, so we should follow the tracks and find our prey." The second lawyer responded,"Those are clearly elk tracks, and elk are out of season. If we follow your advice, we'll waste the day."
Each attorney believed himself to be the superior woodsman, and they both bitterly stuck to their guns.
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
To be or not to be: that is the question, whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...
BECOMES:
In one of the Bard's best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.
In 1830 A.D. the French people, angered and frustrated by the repressive policies of the King, demanded the abdication of their Monarch, King Charles X. When Charles reluctantly signed the document of abdication on 2 August 1830, his son Louis became King of France. Immediately the people called for the new King Louis XIX to abdicate. It is said that King Louis spent the next 20 minutes listening to the entreaties of his wife not to sign the abdication document. Eventually he too abdicated, having reigned for just 20 minutes, taking his place in history as the shortest-ever reigning king.
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Software Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."
The following obituary has been taken from a notice in Lake Angelus Hut (Nelson Lakes National Park).
Trampers will be saddened to learn of the recent death of one of our best known walkers amongst them - Someone Else. Someone's passing creates a gap that will be difficult to fill.
Else had tramped for years. At the huts she was always the one ready to sweep the floor and tidy up. Whenever a task needed doing, one name was always on everyone's lips - "Let Someone Else do it." It was common knowledge that Someone Else did far more than her share!
Always cheerfully taking on chores. Everyone assumed Someone Else would do the job. Someone Else was a wonderful person, appearing superhuman. But a person can only do so much. Were the truth known, everyone expected too much of Someone Else!
Now she is gone!!
We wonder what we are going to do; Someone Else left a wonderful example to follow, but who is going to do the things Someone Else did?
When the hut needs cleaning, remember . . .
We can't depend on Someone Else!
