A New Dictionary

Daffynitions are humorous and twisted definitions of English words.

anarchy - Exception to the rule
atheist — A believer in non-belief.
bore — Someone who, when you ask how he is, tells you.
committee — A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
cynics — Ignorant people who are ruining the county.
death — The only escape from taxes.
dignify — A way to make the hole you’re in look good.
diplomat — A person who tells you to get lost and you can’t wait to get started.
dust — Mud with the juice squeezed out.
expression — Non-stop talking.
flashlight — A case for holding dead batteries.
government — A necessity we could do without.
heirloom — A dead giveaway.
inertia — Resisting arrest.
kernel - A unit of corny truth.
light-headed — Halo effect.
locomotive — insanity plea
lottery — A tax on people who are lousy at math.
mosquito — An insect that makes flies tolerable.
normal — 8 on a scale of 1 to 10.
optimist — A person who smells smoke and gets out the marshmallows.
pessimist — Someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
politician — One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
secret — News you tell to one person at a time.
shin — What you use to find furniture in the dark.
sleep — That fleeting moment that ends alarmingly.
stick — A boomerang that doesn’t come back.
suburbia — Where they cut down trees and put in streets named after them.
tomorrow — A great labor saving device of today.
volunteer — Take on work that makes no cents.
yawn — An honest opinion openly expressed.