An Englishman is being shown around a Scottish hospital. At the end of the tour he is shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury.
He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims "Fair fa' yer honest sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!"
The Englishman, somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, who immediately launches into "Some hae meat, and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, But we hae meat and we can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit."
The next patient sits up and declaims "Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie, O what a panic's in thy breastie! Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi' bickering bl'attle. I wad be laith to run and chase thee, wi' murdering prattle."
"Well" says the Englishman to his Scottish colleague "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for the last".
"Nae!" the Scottish doctor corrects him "This is the Critical Burns Unit."
My apologies for the lack of material posted on this blog in recent times.
Over Christmas we sojourned at our Grandparents' farm up in Dargaville, and for a brace of days after New Year's we visited friends in Ruakaka. Upon our arrival home we immediately embarked upon the process of preparing our house for exterior painting, and since then we have assiduously worked towards the completion of the project.
All the above is just to explain the absence of posts in the last couple of weeks. There should be one forthcoming soon.
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)
Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting the weather for the TV news program.
He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired.
He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position.
Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me."
Antipodes (plural noun) :
Places diametrically opposite each other on the globe.
Literally "Those with the feet opposite", from Greek 'anti' (opposed) and 'podes' (feet)
Geographically 'antipodes' is defined as people or places diametrically opposite on the globe. Thus antipodes must be separated by half the circumference of the earth (180°), and one must be as far north as the other is south of the equator; midnight at one is noonday at the other.
Take a look at the Antipodes Map to find out the antipodal point of your city.
Seeing as Spencer so kindly tagged me, here are 15 random facts about myself:
1. I wear glasses
2. I detest tomatoes
3. Tramping/climbing is my favourite activity
4. I don't wear fashionable clothes
5. I wear shorts 99.9% of the time
6. Sometimes I sit down and read the dictionary
7. I enjoy word puzzles
8. I have never gone to school
9. My favourite place is Aspiring National Park in the South Island (NZ)
10. I want to go white water rafting
11. Blue is my favourite colour
12. I am not a good conversationalist
13. I have only been outside New Zealand once
14. I enjoy reading
15. I am shorter than the average person
I will refrain from tagging anyone else; a) because I have nobody to tag. b) tagging is a crime in NZ
The first verse of our National Anthem is commonly sung, but the other verses of the song are largely unknown.
The poem was written by Thomas Bracken in the 1870s; the music composed by John Joseph Woods in 1876. The popularity of 'God Defend New Zealand' continued to grow throughout the 19th century and entered the 20th century as one of the most popular hymns of the period. In 1940, 'God Defend New Zealand' was pronounced as the national hymn, but it wasn't until 1977 that, with the Queen's consent, 'God Defend New Zealand' was raised to the position of national anthem and given equal status with 'God Save the Queen'.
God Defend New Zealand
God of nations at Thy feet,
In the bonds of love we meet,
Hear our voices, we entreat,
God defend our free land.
Guard Pacific's triple star,
From the shafts of strife and war,
Make her praises heard afar,
God defend New Zealand.
Men of ev'ry creed and race,
Gather here before Thy face,
Asking Thee to bless this place,
God defend our free land.
From dissension, envy, hate,
And corruption guard our State,
Make our country good and great,
God defend New Zealand.
Peace, not war, shall be our boast
But, should foes assail our coast,
Make us then a mighty host,
God defend our free land.
Lord of battles, in Thy might,
Put our enemies to flight,
Let our cause be just and right,
God defend New Zealand.
Let our love for Thee increase,
May Thy blessings never cease,
Give us plenty, give us peace,
God defend our free land.
From dishonour and from shame,
Guard our country's spotless name,
Crown her with immortal fame,
God defend New Zealand.
May our mountains ever be,
Freedom's ramparts on the sea,
Make us faithful unto thee,
God defend our free land.
Guide her in the nations' van,
Preaching love and truth to man,
Working out Thy Glorious plan,
God defend New Zealand.
