Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it - one odd and one end?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but cannot make one amend?
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane!
By an unknown author/compiler.
Ameliorate - (cause to) become better.
Amelioration, in regards to lexigraphy, is the process by which a word aquires a more favourable sense or tone than its original one.
The word 'nice' entered Middle English in the sense of 'stupid or foolish'. 'Nice' is derived from the latin word 'nescius', which means 'ignorant' (literally 'not to know').
From the idea of foolishness or ignorance derived the sense of 'modest, shy', which developed into a range of further senses - 'cautious, fastidious, discerning, refined, subtle, delicate'.
Finally, the common modern semse emerged - 'pleasant, enjoyable'
So remember this next time someone calls you nice, they are unintentionally calling you ignorant!!
Adapted from 'nice and luxurious' in What's in a Word by John Kahn
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up "Yeah, right."
Proof that a dog has three tails.
- No dog has two tails.
- One dog has one more tail than no dog.
- Therefore, a dog must have three tails.
This afternoon 5 friends and I danced at the Ranui Fair (held, funnily enough, in Ranui). After we performed there was a group of Norsemen who demonstrated Viking warfare. 'Twas interesting really.
What is known as the Viking age is the period in history from c. 790 a.d. - 1066 a.d. Vikings were ship-borne warriors and traders, although the term 'Viking' is sometimes used to denote any Scandinavian from the Viking age. The word 'Viking' can be traced back to many different roots, and consequently no one knows what it actually means. The area referred to as Scandinavia is the countries of Norway, Sweden, Denmark, and the north-western part of Finland.
The Vikings were also great explorers (and invaders), venturing to places like Iceland and Greenland, and even further afield, to Newfoundland (off the east coast of Canada). There is archaeological evidence that show the Vikings even reached Baghdad, the capital city of Iraq.
Contrary to popular ideas, Vikings did not wear horned or winged helmets. Viking helmets were made of hard leather reinforced with wood and metal for the common men, and the chieftans wore an iron helmet with a mask. Another popular misconception is that Vikings used skulls as cups. This comes from a myth, and may also come from other Germanic tribes.
"Words that should be in dictionaries, but aren't." The definition of sniglets according to Rich Hall, the man who coined the word in 1986. Some examples below.
Antalixic (ant-uh-licks-ik) adj. Someone who always passes over the licorice jellybeans.
Aquadextrous (ak-wa-deks-trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
Carperpetuation (kar-pur-pet-you-ay-shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
Disconfect (dis-kon-fekt) v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs.
Elbonics (el-bon-iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
Frust (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
Lactomangulation (lak-to-man-gyu-lay-shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
Peppier (pep-yay) n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
Phonesia (fo-knee-zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
Pupkus (pup-kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
Sloovers (slew-vuhrz) n. pl. Remnants of soap too small to use, but too big to throw away."
Telecrastination (tel-e-kras-tuh-nay-shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
All sniglets by Rich Hall on alphaDictionary.
Puns, spoonerisms, daffynitions; if you don't like them, read no further.
As some of you know, I like words. Especially twisting them. Those of you who don't, you will soon.
First things first - a definition of my title. Lexigraphy is the art of definition of words; Logic is the use of a brain; a List, well, I'm sure you all know what one of those is.
Those of you who are expecting me to update this blog frequently, don't. I shall only update when I have something to say, which may be once a week, or twice a day (*gasps of shock from readers*)
